


Just Let It Flow

by djh_one



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: M/M, slightly mild language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-28
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2019-07-03 22:25:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15828147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/djh_one/pseuds/djh_one
Summary: ‘’Hyung, no more teasings. No more playful slaps. No more handsy stuff. I can’t do it anymore.’’ Hyungwon didn’t want it to sound so desperate, he actually wanted to be calm and collected, clearly meaning he wanted none of of the above. Only if his voice wouldn’t betray him.





	Just Let It Flow

‘’Yes, mum.’’ Hyungwon heard himself say for the 20th time that day.

‘’I can’t help myself!’’ His mother said from the other end. ‘’I read an article about how managers treat their idols! There was even one who tried to slap a child! I-I just don’t want my baby to suffer...’’ He let out an audible sigh at his mother’s hurt voice.

‘’I know you told me to not to watch any of your shows but I did and-and they disturbed your sleep, Hyungwonie. They disturbed your precious sleep and your practice. Also those boys were rude to you!’’ He was about to argue about how his members were actually very nice, but from the rising tone and venom like voice, Hyungwon figured his mother was about go berserk on his company if he didn’t calm her down soon.

‘’Hyungwon,’’ a firmer, much calmer voice spoke. It was his father. ‘’You can come back if you ever feel... uncomfortable there. We won’t judge you or anything, you know that right?’’

Ah... Hearing his father’s concerned tone made Hyungwon’s heart ache a bit. Usually, his father was a very collected man, showing no emotion even in hardest times.

‘’I know, dad. Thank you, but I’m fine, really.’’ It was easier to talk to his father. He felt himself safe just like in those times in his childhood, where his father would protect him from monsters by laying next to him at night.

‘’Just making sure, son. We don’t want you to be there, suffering from God-knows-what, just because you don’t want to quit. You know quitting something that hurts you is not-’’

‘’Something to be ashamed.’’ Hyungwon finished for his father. He heard him say this sentence for at least a thousand times since he debuted.

‘’Seriously, I’m fine!’’ He continued. ‘’They don’t treat us that harshly. Also mom, I’m already used to it. ’’ He was mostly telling the truth but still couldn’t say that they were treating them exactly like Hyungwon thought they deserved.

‘’My baby boy, you hate getting up early and yet they disturb your hard-earned sleeping time.’’ And there his mother was again, being a total worry wart.

‘’Mom, I knew what I was getting into. It’s not that bad. I promise to quit if it becomes too much, okay?’’

‘’Promise?’’ His mother said, voice on the verge of crying.

‘’I promise, mom.’’ His tone was convincing enough to calm his mother, it seemed.

‘’Okay.’’ She went soft, shuffling around. ‘’Hyungwonie, do they know?’’ She whispered, as if she didn’t want to be heard. He didn’t need to ask _know what?_

‘’Don’t get any ideas just because you watched some fancam, mom. They are called fan-service. Appearently those nasty girls love boy relationships... Also could you please stop watching those! They are just for the viewers’ entertainment.’’ _And it’s embarassing as hell!_ He wanted to yell.

‘’Do they?’’ His mom pressed with a more serious voice. There was no way out of this without a proper answer. Ever since he broke up with his girlfriend quite eventfully, his sexuality was never questioned by his members, but in truth, he was someone who swinged both ways and appearently he was also someone who had a crush on one of his band members. _Damn you, sister._ He thought – with no bite to his thoughts - since she was the one who blurted his little secret out. No need to say she was very sorry about it.

‘’They don’t know, mom. I don’t plan on telling them any time soon, not yet at least.’’

‘’We support you with our everything, son.’’ His father talked again. ‘’If they do anything disrepectful, even a single stupid comment, you know what to do.’’ Hyungwon felt homesickness hit him like a train. He missed his family so much.

‘’I know, dad. I really appreciate what you do right now. I love you so much.’’ He said, blinking away the tears. ‘’I will try to visit you before our tour starts but right now, I need get my beauty sleep. I have to model for some clothing brand tomorrow. Tell sis and baby bro I love them.’’

‘’We will, dear. Goodnight and be careful.’’ His mother said, sending him lots of kisses over the phone. He sent some back, kissing the inside of his palm and waving his hands as if they can see him. He wished he made a video call instead.

And that was the end of his very tiring phone call with his family. He would be lying if he said he didn’t miss travelling around the world with them.

‘’Hey...’’ A voice interrupted his thoughts. He realized his eyes lost their focus while his mind was lost in thought. They focused on Hoseok as soon as he heard the voice.

‘’You okay?’’ Hoseok spoke again, taking off his leather jacket and hanging it on the chair.

‘’Aside from being worked for 15 hours straight? Yeah, totally.’’ He sent him one of his maniacally looking smiles and giving him a thumbs up. Hoseok laughed a little and sat on his bed, body turned towards Hyungwon.

‘’You were looking like you were about to cry.’’ Well, he wasn’t wrong.

‘’Just missed my family...’’ Hyungwon didn’t need to lie to him as they were close friends, or as Hyungwon thought they were close friends.

‘’Ow...’’ Hoseok said in mock hurt, holding his heart. ‘’I thought you thought us as your family.’’

He was talking about the show they attented today, where Hyungwon said he saw Monsta X as his family. Well, it was no lie.

‘’Yeah, we have a dad and brothers but we are still lacking a mom and a sister.’’ He said in a teasing tone and watched Hoseok’s mouth curl into a smile.

‘’You can have Kihyun as your mom and come on... We know Minhyuk could pass as a better sister than your own.’’ He had a teasing tone in his voice, mocking his friends casually.

‘’Minhyukie is the best sister ever!’’ Hyungwon pushed his fist into the air and let himself drown in the other’s laugh. They stayed like that for while, sitting on their seperate beds and laughing stupidly, imagining Kihyun as their mother and Minhyuk as their sister. Then Hoseok decided he should change clothes to get ready for bed and Hyungwon nodded slowly. He was expecting Hoseok to go to the bathroom, maybe shower and then change but nope. He literally took everything off of himself except his boxers and started wandering around the room only in them, appearently looking for his pjs. How his muscles tensed and relaxed as he moved around made Hyungwon gulp and avert his eyes. _My career cannot take a hit from this._ He said to himself. On the stage they could tease each and flirt all they want, - it was what their fans wanted from them (not like Hyungwon complained) - but looking at his body in their private dorm room was something else. _It’s not like it’s your first time seeing him naked._ He reminded himself. _Get your shit together!_ They dressed together, slept together, ate together and unfortunately (or maybe not) sometimes showered together because of their limited time and tight schedule. (It seemed like Hoseok had a thing for showering with Hyungwon) It wasn’t like there was anything to hide.

‘’Heh, found them!’’ Hoseok announced as he leaned behind the headboard of his bed, pulling an athlete and shorts that were way too short. _It’s not any different from your boxers!_ Hyungwon internally screamed but on the outside he was as cool as a cucumber, playing a game on his phone.

‘’Can I turn the lights off?’’ Hoseok asked, his hand already on the switch. Hyungwon made a _wait a minute_ sign with his hand and got himself under the covers, turned his bed side lamp on and put his eye mask on his forehed, then he gave another thumbs up.

‘’I don’t understand why you keep that lamp open when you are gonna cover your eyes?’’ Hoseok sleepily asked as he made his way to his bed. ‘’It’s been bugging me since day 1.’’

‘’I’m a nightblind, hyung.’’ He answered casually, ‘’I can’t see shit at night but I also can’t sleep if it’s not pitch black. If I don’t keep this open, you will find me dead on the floor because I will run into a wall or something.’’

Hoseok laughed lightly, voice starting to fill with sleep. Hyungwon had sharp ears as he was pratically blind in darkness, a fascinating side of the human body.

‘’Does it bother you, hyung?’’ He murmured, his own body aching to get some sleep.

‘’Nah...’’ Hoseok said and Hyungwon swore he fell asleep because for a minute or so he didn’t say anything else. ‘’Just wondered.’’

‘’Hm...’’

And they both fell asleep.

* * *

After a long day of modelling, Hyungwon felt as if he was about to faint. He threw up bile in the plastic bag their manager gave him - _Why was he carrying a plastic bag around again?-_ before he got into the car that was waiting for him.

‘’You sure you don’t want to see a doctor?’’ the manager-hyung asked once they were settled on the seats. Hyungwon’s head was leaned against the cool window of the car. He shook his head because he felt like if he opened his mouth, something more than words would spill.

After that his vision blurred and he drifted off to a dreamless sleep.

He opened his eyes once he felt the engine stop. Rubbing his eyes rather roughly and slapping his cheeks to wake himself up, he thanked everybody in the car and went straight to the building.

It was Hyunwoo who opened the door for him. His welcoming smile shattered a bit the moment he saw Hyungwon. He quickly held him by the waist and took most of his weight onto himself, closing the door with his foot once they were in. He settled Hyungwon on the nearest couch in the living room under the curious looks of their members.

‘’I will heat some soup.’’ Kihyun abruptly said, lifting himself from the armchair he was reading a book on.

‘’Hey, hyung, did they use you as the runway or something?’’ Jooheon joked and Hyungwon couldn’t help but laugh a little.

‘’Honestly speaking, it exactly felt like that.’’ He replied as he took the glass of water from Changkyun’s hand. He took one or two sips from it before handing it back. They made him pose for hours with only a sandwich that was smaller than Hyungwon’s palm and water. He didn’t get to rest and stood on his feet all that time except that peaceful 1 hour that was called ‘lunch time’, lunch as in a shitty sandwich with nothing but cheese and ham. He sometimes hated his job, _only sometimes._

‘’You didn’t have to, hyung.’’ Appearently Kihyun not only _heated some soup_ but prepared a full dinner for Hyungwon, including a drink and salad. His stomach was hurting because of it’s emptiness but his body was too tired to move the fork to his mouth. That was when Hoseok came. He took the fork from Hyungwon’s hand and without a word, held it up to his mouth. Hyungwon realized that Hoseok was quiet during the whole time he got in. He was now looking expectantly at Hyungwon with a salad-filled-fork in his hand, head tilted to his side. Hyungwon opened his mouth a bit and thought _fuck it_ and _YOLO._ Hoseok smiled when Hyungwon didn’t put up a fight and ate from his hand. First bite was okay but after the second and the third one, Hyungwon’s stomach realized that it didn’t want to eat proper food and started to twist around.

‘’Ow.’’ He said before holding his mouth and rushing to the toilet, almost tripping over his own foot in the process, members following him. Nothing much came out as his stomach was empty almost the whole day. He wiped his mouth with some toilet paper Minhyuk handed him and let himself sit on his butt on the marble floor. Hyunwoo came to his side and rubbed his back slowly.

‘’You are going to catch a cold like this.’’ He murmured as he lifted Hyungwoo off the ground. Jooheon helped him wash his face and splashed some water on his neck to help him relax. He then carefully, and very gently, wiped the water off his face with a towel.

‘’I like you better when you are a sassy bitch.’’ He didn’t forget to comment. Hyungwon smiled, _was that worry in his voice?_ They made him sit on the couch again and Hoseok, this time with much force, fed him soup and rice.

‘’Enough, hyung.’’ He sleepily said, holding Hoseok’s hand in his own. Now that his stomach was full and the dorm was hot, sleep was kicking in. Hoseok nodded, again not talking, and helped Hyungwon to their shared room. Everyone was worriedly looking at him from the door.

‘’I’m fine, y’all.’’ He waved his hand casually. ‘’Thank you for everything...’’ Even though his eyes were fixed on the ground, because he was embarrased as hell, he could feel the relieved smiles they gave.

‘’Rest, Hyungwon.’’ Hyunwoo said and added before he closed the door. ‘’We trust you with the rest, Hoseok.’’

‘’Are you cold?’’ Hoseok asked, speaking for the first time since Hyungwon’s arrival. He put his hand on Hyungwon’s forehead to see if he had a fewer.

‘’No, hyung.’’ Hyungwon said, yawning. He put on his eyemask and turned on the bedside lamp. ‘’I swear it’s just because I got tired. I’m not sick at all.’’ He made a scout sign with his hand and smiled when Hoseok let out a laugh.

‘’Wake me up if you need anything.’’ The older one said, already on his own bed, covering himself with his blanket, Hyungwon didn’t see it happen but _heard_ it. ‘’And I mean anything.’’

‘’Yessir!’’

And Hyungwon let sleep take control over his body, once again.

* * *

‘’Rise and shine, sleeping beauty!’’ Jooheon literally screamed in his ear and Hyungwon couldn’t help the growl that escaped his mouth. He lifted his eyemask to see a Jooheon inches away from his face.

‘’Heyheyheyhey! I got him to open his eyes!’’

‘’Hyung, you take the long way.’’ Changkyun commented disapprovingly. ‘’You should just stab him in the ear 3 times to make sure he is dead.’’

Hyungwon groaned again and tried to turn around but Jooheon jumped on him to stop him.

‘’I got him!’’ He yelled and somebody else, Changkyun who else, jumped on the bed. ‘’Tickle time!’’

Hyungwon felt hands roaming on his ticklish body and started scream-laughing as he tried to get away from the hands.

‘’I-I’m awake! I s-swear.’’ He said between his chuckles. ‘’Please stop!’’ Jooheon smirked over their victory.

‘’We are waiting for you guys for breakfast!’’ Minhyuk yelled from the living room.

‘’Breakfast? What time is it?’’ Hyungwon asked, trying to reach for his table clock.

‘’Almost 8. Minhyuk took your breakfast duty just so you can sleep a bit more.’’ Hoseok came, freshly out of shower with a towel around his neck. (Hyungwon felt guilty that he missed being a part of that.) He was wearing nothing but sweatpants. _Doesn’t have any shame?_ Hyungwon wondered. ‘’Believe me, you don’t want to make him wait. ‘’

Hyungwon felt warm feelings fill his heart as he looked at his members. They even woke him up at a reasonable hour so he had time to both have a breakfast and take a shower.

‘’Let me wash my face and I will join you right after.’’ He said, voice still hoarse from sleep, pushing Jooheon off of himself and off the bed at the same time.

‘’Rude!’’ the boy said in mock hurt.

‘’Yeah, yeah. Tell that to my deaf left ear.’’ Hyungwon shrugged and went straight to the bathroom. Thankfully it was not occupied so he quickly took care of his morning routine and went to join his friends waiting in the living room.

‘’Morning!’’ He greeted them, settling on his usual spot. He put his hand on Minhyuk’s and caressed it a bit. ‘’Thank you. And thank you all.’’

They were smiling beamingly at him and it melted Hyungwon’s heart.

‘’We are just glad that you are okay. You kinda scared us there.’’ Hyunwoo said almost too fatherly. ‘’You sure you can participate in today’s schedules?’’

‘’After a breakfast like this?’’ He asked, pointing at the table. ‘’It would be a shame if I couldn’t.’’ Honestly, the table was so full that he guessed half of their money was on it. Minhyuk laughed a little shyly, squezing Hyungwon’s hand.

‘’Let’s start or else we will be late.’’ Kihyun interrupted their sister-time, motioning everybody to start eating. ‘’I don’t want to hear any complaints when it’s time to leave.’’

‘’Yessir!’’ 5 of them said. ‘’ ‘kay, mama.’’ Changkyun decided to say. Thankfully they didn’t let out a laugh because Kihyun was eyeing every single one of them one by one with a breakfast knife in his hand.

Needless to say, the rest of the breakfast went silently.

* * *

_Fuck this stage!_ He cursed internally. _And fuck who designed it too!_

The stage was almost _oily_ , making their shiny shoes feel like ice skates on it. They all were trying to stay in balance as their bodies dutifully followed the choreography. Hyungwon tried to move forward, trying to move as slowly as much as possible but _fuck their music_ too because it was so upbeat. His feet slipped all too suddenly and if it weren’t for Minhyuk and Hoseok who reached out to hold him in place, he would have a bruised body next morning, not to mention all the embarrasment. He nodded at them, silently thanking them and tried to focus on his part. Well, he failed miserably on the focusing part.

He almost fell face first onto the ground.

_Almost._

A pair of strong arms held him from his waist and kept him from literally breaking his nose. He turned around and saw an amused Hoseok. As soon as Hyungwon was on his feet, Hoseok followed the dance from where he left and motioned Hyungwon to do the same. Mistakes were okay on stage but neglection was never forgiven. Hyungwon tried to match his friends and hoped he would finish their song without anything broken.

He managed to finish the song without breaking any body part. Jooheon let out a curse as soon as they hopped off the stage.

‘’Are you all okay?’’ Hyunwoo checked on them, standing beside Hyungwon. ‘’You were about to ruin that face of yours.’’ He joked with a hint of worry in his face. Hyungwon shrugged and put his hand around Hoseok’s neck.

‘’This hyung was kind enough to lend me a hand.’’ Hoseok laughed in reply and ruffled Hyungwon’s hair not-so-gently.

‘’Your natural beauty almost turned into a fake one.’’ the older one said and Hyungwon froze in his seat. _Did_ _he_ _just say that?_

Welp. Hyungwon was fucked. He couldn’t even come up with a snarky comment, he just sat there awkwardly, his arm still hanging around Hoseok’s muscular neck.

‘’It’s okay, we are all fine. That’s what matters.’’ Their leader smiled at them assuringly. _Nice save, leader!_ Hyungwon internally cheered for him.

‘’This is literally the worst stage we’ve been on.’’ Minhyuk commented from where he was sitting, all tangled with Changkyun. He had his own share of slips that day. His tense body probably needed a good massage if nothing more. Hyungwon was more willing to help him with that, since the red haired boy saved him from falling a few times.

‘’I totally agree.’’ Jooheon grunted. ‘’It almost felt like they had a grudge against us.’’

‘’Well, you may want to consider that again.’’ Kihyun pointed at the screen that displayed the stage. An all girl idol group were literally looking like they were on a survival show. They were all wearing high-heels and short shorts. With nothing to soften their fall, and seeing as they were in pretty bad condition, their knees would probably need make up for their next performance.

‘’Ouch.’’ Changkyun commented after a pretty bad slip. Hyunwoo decided thar they expressed enough gratitude to God and shooed them to the changing rooms.

 

* * *

Something between him and Hoseok changed.

They were always playfully flirting with each other, all of them were to be exact, but recently they were more handsy to say the least. On one stage Hoseok was playing tag with him, on the next fanmeeting he was doing nothing but touching Hyungwon, not caring about any concept of personal space. Hyungwon was not complaining, not in the least, it just made things harder for his heart. But of course, it also sparked a competition between them; a competition to see who would be bolder and more daring.

Hyungwon shared a photo of himself in Hoseok’s bed, captioning it ‘Guess where I am?’ with lots of winking emoticons. In return, Hoseok took picture of their feet and shared it with no caption or comment. Hyungwon was actually enjoying their little game. He enjoyed his hyung’s company, their shared bedroom and, well, his hyung in general.

‘’Hyung you are a total tease!’’ Hyungwon slapped Hoseok’s bare arm. They were currently sitting and watching some old school anime in their room. Hoseok only laughed as he read the comments on fancafe.

‘’They liked it.’’ He showed one particular comment that said ‘I HAVE BEEN BLESSED’ with capslock on. ‘ _Even I liked it.’_ Hyungwon wanted to say but bit his tongue. Hoseok left his phone on his nightstand and turned his attention to the screen in front of them.

‘’This is some brain tickling anime we got here.’’ He commented after the main boy, Shinji or something like that, was finally able to kill the enemy.

‘’Yeah... I don’t understand his motives, like at all. I mean, I got it dude, you have daddy issues but come on...’’

Hoseok let out a chuckle after Hyungwon’s comment and stuffed 3 or 4 gummy bears into his mouth. He opened it to say something but decided to say it after swallowing.

‘’Speaking of daddies...’’ He swallowed one last time. ‘’Do you have any kinks, Hyungwonie?’’

  
It caught Hyungwon off guard. He was in the middle of a mission where he was biting the heads of his share of gummy bears and collecting them in mouth to sacrifice them later. (to the God that was currently sitting next to him- but of course he didn’t tell him that.)

‘’Wh-!’’ Hyungwon coughed and hit his chest several times, trying not to choke. ‘’Hyung! What are you saying?!’’ He was sure he looked like a tomato at the moment. Hoseok winked at him and turned more towards Hyungwon.

‘’So? Do you?’’ Hoseok pressed again, leaning slightly closer. Hyungwon was nervous as hell but he was determined; two could play at this game. He leaned into Hoseok until his face was an inch away and held onto the hem of his shirt.

‘’Want to explore with me...daddy?’’ He whispered in the most seductive way possible with the addition of a lip bite. _Thank god I watch the weirdest porn._ He thought. Th _ey come in handy._

He was sure that he heard Hoseok’s breath hitching in his throat. The older male’s cheeks were now slightly pinkish.

‘’It suits you.’’ He finally said after an uncomfortable amount of silence. ‘’You would be the perfect _baby boy.’’_ He said the last words in a different tone, like tasting the sound of it on his tongue. Hyungwon was again at a loss of words. It felt like his body was burning with desire to jump on his hyung and make him call _that_ again.

‘’Hyung...’’ Hyungwon whispered, not sure what to say. They were still sitting impossibly close, close enough for Hyungwon to hear Hoseok’s soft breathing.

‘’It’s getting dangerous, Hyungwonie.’’ The older male said. Before Hyungwon’s foggy brain could register Hoseok’s words, there was a knock on the door.

‘’Hyungs, we are having ice cream, manager-hyung’s treat. Would you like some?’’ Changkyun spoke, poking his head inside.

‘’What flavour?’’ Hyungwon perked up, all excited like a little child.

‘’Your favourite, hyung, fruit mix!’’ Jooheon suddenly jumped on Changkyun, almost causing the black haired boy to fall.

‘’I’m coming!’’ Hyungwon jumped off the bed, then turned to Hoseok. ‘’Hyung, you come too! I know you like ice cream.’’

Hoseok shook his head no.

‘’I will go to sleep soon. I will hurt my stomach if I eat it at his hour.’’

It was acceptable enough for Hyungwon. He nodded and left the room with Changkyun and Jooheon.

His previous thoughts forgotten in the process of eating ice cream.

* * *

‘’Hyung.’’ Hyungwon stood in front of Hoseok. ‘’We need to talk. Now.’’

He thought he could do it, that he could endure all of Hoseok’s teasings... but as things were getting more serious, he decided he had enough. He would not only hurt his own career, but also destroy everything else with him.

‘’I’m all ears.’’ Hoseok replied, putting his phone down.

‘’Hyung, no more teasings. No more playful slaps. No more handsy stuff. I can’t do it anymore.’’ Hyungwon didn’t want it to sound so desperate, he actually wanted to be calm and collected, clearly meaning he wanted none of of the above. Only if his voice wouldn’t betray him.

He sounded hopeless and he hated it.

‘’Why?’’ Hoseok asked. Hyungwon was screaming internally at that point. He wanted to yell _you kept touching my butt in front of hundreds of people!_

‘’Because I’m uncomfortable.’’ was what he said instead. Hoseok looked at him. Only looked at him.

Then he did something, something Hyungwon didn’t expect.

He clashed their lips together.

Hyungwon’s slow brain couldn’t process what was happening and when he could, he did something he only thought would happen in his dreams.

He kissed back.

After a full 3 minutes of make out, Hoseok pulled back a few inches to take a look at Hyungwon’s face.

‘’Think again. Is it because you feel uncorfortable?’’

Hyungwon wanted to answer verbally.

But sometimes an action meant more than words.

He kissed his hyung once more, this time with force.

‘’What are we gonna do now?’’ Hyungwon asked, out of breath because Hoseok was appearently a kissing pro. In his question was hidden a thousand of emotions and meanings.

Hoseok got them all.

‘’Nothing, just let it flow and see what happens.’’

And it was more than enough for Hyungwon.

That day, he had tea to spill to his sister.

**Author's Note:**

> Your comments and thoughts are appreciated! Thank you for reading my story!


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